Hmm... so I have taken the plunge now... I am jobless at the moment but not for long because I will search and search until I find something and if I cannot find something I shall make something to do for income... It is winter after all so I can even do some shoveling driveways and what not for the time being as well if I really need to... I am positive that this change is going to be a good one. I figured that it is a new year, I may as well start fresh.

Life is too precious to dwell on the negative things.

Everything will work out.

Life is not a fairytale though... I must stay realistic and set goals and that for my new year to come. I know that this year will work out fine and I hope that it does for everyone.

Happy New Years!

Ok so I have all my christmas wrapping done. So now my living room is full of wrapped presents. Unfortunately I did not get my christmas cards done for this year. It is hard to do when you have been working straight days for so long and get pretty tired after work to do much of anything at all. I am definitly not complaining. I am happy for the hours I have been getting because I know that they have dropped come next week.

Oh by the way! Merry Christmas and a Happy New year!! :D

I will probably not be able to blog for the next week or so.

Dimitra

Ok so I have mentioned my kitten Dimitra. She is my cute little nemesis... ahaha! Did I fool you? She's a pretty cute little rascal who likes to get into everything and be nosy about whatever I am up to... Suprisingly enough everytime my father comes over she thinks she's going for a ride with us. I guess she is a rare one who actually likes going to the vets for a visit. She enjoys the car rides there. hmm I think that is bizzare... She's really good there too. Doesn't put up a fuss and if she gets a little freaked out she sits on my shoulder. I wonder how that will work when she gets bigger.

Hello?

Hello?... Anyone out there?... Ah maybe I am just listening to the echo in this cavern... Who really knows?... That's okay though.

I have decided for the rest of the month that I am not going to complain...at all to anyone... See I think I have gotten myself pretty worked up over some really stupid things but it is just facts of life I just have to get over I guess...

Don't sweat the small things... Life's too short and if you want to make the best of it you have to think more positive. I've never been the best one at that.. Life has dealt me a few shitty cards but who hasn't been dealt them?


No that definitly wasn't a complaint so don't you think that it is.

I think I have been dealt a fairly good hand lately though... I've got a great boyfriend, friends and family who care about me... A crazy little kitten whom is running rampant around the house chasing imaginary mouse friends I think...

Oh so maybe I have not introduced you to my kitten Dimitra. So here is a couple of pics of her! :D

The top picture is close to when I first got her and the one below is a fairly recent picture.. She has been quite a handful but quite the joy as well. I will defitly be posting more about her in another entry but for now this is about all my foggy mind can handle for the moment as to I am not quite that wide awake right now.

I am a writer who loves to write just about anything I can dream up. I will write and write until I have no ideas left if I have to sometimes and if I get the chance to because between work, family and friends sometimes you just cannot seem to find the time to do much writing.
I do manage to forget to complete much of anything except for my poems. I don't usually leave poems unfinished. My first and foremost project is to get a book of poems established and then try to get it published and out there.

As of late though I have been working on a little skit thing.. I think it is really just for fun but how fun it is! You know it's kind of amazing the things you can envision in your head sometimes. I never thought I would write something in this kind of format but it's been much more entertaining to me then most things I have written in awhile.

I have the weekend off right now.. tommorrow my brother comes home. I have missed him so dearly. It's been awhile since I saw him last. So I guess I will see just how far into this new project I get.At least for the moment I have something that keeps me busy...

ok so it's early in the AM...what to do now?

My game crashed tonight. I am not too sure why. If you want to know, I play World of Warcraft... alot... I'm not really in the sleeping mode even though my body wants to fall asleep at any moment. My mind is wandering from thought to thought but nothing really solid is felt. I'm listening to Break - Three Days grace at the moment. It's one of my favourite songs to listen to right now. So here goes something somewhat productive.

I've been watching Breaking Bad lately. It's a really great show but sometimes so really hard to watch because the main character Walt is faced with dying of lung cancer so he turns to making meth to bring in money as his wife is pregnant with a suprise child and their son Walt jr has cerebral palsy (I think that is the condition and the proper spelling.) It's quite interesting and at times almost heartbreaking because I've lost someone close to cancer before and it's hard to watch these kinds of things happening on tv... Ah well I guess it is just a fact of my life... That is okay...




Drifting and yearning at every sleepless night.
A life led in doubt's deepest desires
I've seen the fire within your eyes
Felt the ice of your breath upon my neck,
Your steely grip holding me down

Now I stand against all the fear, all the torment
I never want to face another you again
But at least I will always be prepared

This month is certainly a very hectic crazy time of the year. I feel lost in this haze and a bit confused. It's not unusual for me... I seem to get like that alot but this time of the year it is usually the worst. I'm not really sure what to say or how much I should say but sometimes like right now I feel like everything would just be better living wild and free like a wild horse galloping through a mountain range or fierce and solitary like a tiger stalking in the jungles ready for anything not a single care or worry in the world...yeah what a strange way to put it... I know. It's just that I find that life is too complicated...and do not take this as I am depressed in a way i want to die kinda way. That definitly is not how I feel... I just feel like I've lost myself in a void of blankness that doesn't make sense just yet. But I also feel that change is coming and that is why I feel this way.. It is because something new is just over the horizon, I just have to be patient and let it rise over the ridge just a little bit longer. Like the dawning of a new day it comes in its own time.

So I must be patient and wait.
So I must breath in and out slowly surely, and trudge on.

Maybe I should really take up meditation.

Hmm...

Well I cannot believe I will say this but this month has suddenly turned into a really screwed up month for me. I kinda feel like I have lost my head, my mind and almost my insanity at some point or other... yes truly you may not understand...If you do, welcome to real world...

Listening to....

If you have not already guessed who this is though I highly doubt anyone wouldn't recognize her. This is Lady Gaga. I chose a picture that may not be seen as much. It is kinda interesting...vaguely to say the least. Maybe not the most interesting and controversial of the wide array of pictures out there on the web.

I can honestly say that I am enjoying her cd thus far. It is a good listen and I am glad that I got the cd. Hmm... but some of the outfits she wears is just a little too extreme and I'm sure the average person wouldn't wear it...

Though every once in awhile pull out that strange wow factor outfit for kicks. I mean come on, I am inspired by some of the looks to try and make something different and unique, a far extreme from the everyday norm.



Who cares what others think how you look. Accept the woman or man that you are and do what feels right to you. People hate on one another way too much. I just do not understand why.. We are all unique individuals with our own sense of self and style that may sometimes be influenced by others but it is only acting upon your own judgement that we make these kinds of decisions...

I applaude those who choose their own destiny of choice... to show their own persona no matter what that may or may not be. Life is full of choices.. There's just way too many, so why be so closed minded?

So I am back for another bout of blogging, not that I know if anyone is really reading these. My brother had given me a gift certiicate for my birthday last month and I finally got around to using it tonight to get myself the Jurrassic park collection so now I own all three dvds... yes maybe not what you call the greatest thing but I think this is great! I really enjoyed the movies and they were always a blast to watch even now as I blog... I think that tonight I am going to try and watch every single one of them tonight if I can...well I may not be able to but we'll see! :D It will be cool if I can!

Oh and I also bought Lady Gaga's newest cd, I am interested to find out what it's like as I have only heard a song or two off of it so far... Well I shall get back to my movies!

day 2 blogging... and christmas cards not done yet?

So I am back again... day 2 of my blogging. It is much later in the day than the previous times.. I have yet to figure out how to change the time because it really is almost 11 now and it will be at least a few hours behind of when I actually posted this... That's alright... Well its about 22 more days before christmas and I have yet to finish all my shopping just yet or making my christmas cards... well most of them anyway for those who are close to me like family and friends I have had for a very long time. I thought it would be a neat idea to do. I will eventually post up some of my cards I made after christmas time. I just don't want anyone seeing them before :D

Well this is a short one! For now at least. The day is young. I may still blog again...

Another post.... Makes 2 in one day

Yes as you may or may not know I am bored and wide awake... I looked at few different things online... got the notion that I should put this down in my blog somewhere... I have decided that I will also post some of the crafts that I like to putter away. I am also a scrapbooker as well. I also like to try new ventures and make clothes new again.

I kinda like the thought of blogging even if no one actually does read it or not... at least some of things I want to put out there will be out there.

Well here is the first thing that I will post. This was something I did a little while back. The picture below the top picture is what it was before I created it into the picture above that one.

Can you tell I was bored that day? I think it turned out good....just good is all I will say about it right now... (Oh if you are wondering those white things on the bottom middle of the frame are actually light blue flowers that no matter how many times I took a picture so I just finally gave up trying to make it show up well.)

Well drop any thoughts on that little project or anything in this post at all... and happy blogging! :D

Wide awake and blogging

Well I am wide awake at almost 6 in the morning... couldn't sleep much. One because I am coming down with a cold, 2 because my kitten decided to attack my hair, 3 because I just don't feel like tossing and turning possibly keeping my boyfriend up right now.

I am not complaining so please do not think that I am. I am just wide awake right now and feeling the need to do something at least. I tend to be like that every now and again so this is my first blog. I am not really too sure what to write about but as you see I am a wide awake blogging so most of these will probably tend to be when I am awake this early in the morning. Though don't be suprised they may come at any time during a day, a week, a month.. I have not yet decided how dedicated to this I will get. A good friend of mine told me that I should start one. I have been thinking about this long before though just never got around to it.

I am a writer, I love to write... ALOT... I haven't got much finished and only a few actual poems published so you may see some of this here... I have yet to fathom what I will do with this blog as I think I may have already mentioned.. I think in some ways I will use this blog as a reminder of my goal to get a book completely finished... See I tend to start a story, get a writer's block, go back and/or start a new one and never get much complete... If anyone has any tips on keeping on track, I would love to know!

Oh and by the way... I will accept critism of my posts but not bashing and hate... Please consider this before commenting... Thanks! :D

Have a great day!