Just right now I need to find some kind of inner balance with myself to be happy again, for I haven't been as happy as I used to be, haven't felt like things have been going anywhere as of late. It's kind of a very slow process to try and figure out what I need to do for myself to keep me motivated to do the goals i set out for myself because honestly I feel sometimes at an utter loss trying to figure out what my soul wants to do.
I've almost given up writing.. and that is very unusual for me. In fact because I was on the brink of giving it up altogether I think it brought out a bit of a fiery rage within because that would be like not breathing. My soul needs to write, even if most of it really feels for my own entertainment. I don't think I am very good at it but I would love to try and get something done and try the whole scenario of moving onto the next step of editing something I have completed fully. Then I can finally try and get it published. This will be a long time coming.. and I don't even care if I ever get famous.. In fact that would be the last thing on my mind. If one person could see what I write and say to me honestly, most truthfully that they "enjoyed reading my book!" or "Your writing is inspiring" That would make my day.
I would love to start a writing group.. maybe even do it via online or something just to start sharing ideas and getting opinions flowing through a group of people with the same kinds of interests.
Here where I live I don't feel that I have that kind of connection.. on any front really. It's like I live in a place where there is no openness of expression, no one with a like mind here other then maybe the jocks and the socialistic people but truthfully I don't want anything to do with either one and I guess that's also why I hate the idea of the gym as well... That was getting a little off topic there. Glad I caught myself before I ranted on about something that isn't even important to me.
My writing is important. Also I love to create stuff (scrapbook, ATCs to name a few things) I just want to get into more creativity but with nearing the end of my first year of university it's going to be a long haul before I get too overly creative right now.
I canot believe I am looking forward to starting summer and a summer job (pending that I search and find one ASAP after school is completed.)
I really hate essays... but I really shouldn't be procrastinating anymore. I've already done tons of useless stuff (other then this blog that barely hits the radar out there but that is just fine with me!)
Until the next time!
~Penny~
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